Saturday, 15 October 2011

A Memo From The CEO


Memo


Number: 327

Date: 14 October 2011

From: The Chief Executive Officer

To: All executives, managers and employees

Subject: Disobedience and Failure to Obey Directives from the CEO

I have become increasingly aware of and concerned by the above and have taken advice on how best to deal with it. God has now given me the solution, in Leviticus 26 so, with immediate effect:

If ye will not hearken unto me, and will not do all these commandments; And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant I will do this unto you;

I will appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.

I will set my face against you, and ye shall be slain before your enemies : they that hate you shall reign over you; and ye shall flee when none pursueth you.

If ye will not yet for all this hearken unto me, then I will punish you seven times more for your sins.

I will break the pride of your power; and I will make your heaven as iron, and your earth as brass:

Your strength shall be spent in vain: for your land shall not yield her increase, neither shall the trees of the land yield their fruits.

If ye walk contrary unto me, and will not hearken unto me; I will bring seven times more plagues upon you according to your sins.

I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children , and destroy your cattle, and make you few in number ; and your high ways shall be desolate .

If ye will not be reformed by me by these things, but will walk contrary unto me then will I also walk contrary unto you, and will punish you yet seven times for your sins.

I will bring a sword upon you, that shall avenge the quarrel of my covenant: and when ye are gathered together within your cities, I will send the pestilence among you; and ye shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy.

And when I have broken the staff of your bread, ten women shall bake your bread in one oven, and they shall deliver you your bread again by weight: and ye shall eat, and not be satisfied .

And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me, then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.

And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat .

I will destroy your high places, and cut down your images, and cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you.

I will make your cities waste, and bring your sanctuaries unto desolation, and I will not smell the savour of your sweet odours.

I will bring the land into desolation: and your enemies which dwell therein shall be astonished at it.

I will scatter you among the heathen, and will draw out a sword after you: and your land shall be desolate, and your cities waste.

Then shall the land enjoy her sabbaths, as long as it lieth desolate, and ye be in your enemies' land; even then shall the land rest, and enjoy her sabbaths. As long as it lieth desolate it shall rest; because it did not rest in your sabbaths, when ye dwelt upon it.

Upon them that are left alive of you I will send a faintness into their hearts in the lands of their enemies; and the sound of a shaken leaf shall chase them; and they shall flee, as fleeing from a sword; and they shall fall when none pursueth .

And they shall fall one upon another, as it were before a sword, when none pursueth : and ye shall have no power to stand before your enemies.

Ye shall perish among the heathen, and the land of your enemies shall eat you up.

They that are left of you shall pine away in their iniquity in your enemies' lands; and also in the iniquities of their fathers shall they pine away with them.

If they shall confess their iniquity, and the iniquity of their fathers, with their trespass which they trespassed against me, and that also they have walked contrary unto me; And that I also have walked contrary unto them, and have brought them into the land of their enemies; if then their uncircumcised hearts be humbled, and they then accept of the punishment of their iniquity:

Then will I remember my covenant with Jacob, and also my covenant with Isaac, and also my covenant with Abraham will I remember; and I will remember the land.

The land also shall be left of them, and shall enjoy her sabbaths, while she lieth desolate without them: and they shall accept of the punishment of their iniquity: because, even because they despised my judgments, and because their soul abhorred my statutes.

And yet for all that, when they be in the land of their enemies, I will not cast them away, neither will I abhor them, to destroy them utterly, and to break my covenant with them: for I am the LORD their God. But I will for their sakes remember the covenant of their ancestors, whom I brought forth out of the land of Egypt in the sight of the heathen, that I might be their God: I am the LORD.

These are the statutes and judgments and laws, which the LORD made between him and the children of Israel in mount Sinai by the hand of Moses.

So, be thou in no doubt whatsoever, that determined am I to stampeth out this disgraceful outbreak of disobedience unto me thy Lord and master and CEO.

I hope that maketh clear my refusal to tolerate this disgraceful situation any longer.

Memo


Number: 328

Date: 15 October 2011

From: The (Acting) Chief Executive Officer

To: All staff

Subject: Restoration of Internal Disciplinary Procedures

With immediate effect, I have agreed to take over the full responsibilities of the former CEO who is now on extended leave following an emergency meeting of the Board called at the request of several major shareholders.

Memo 327 dated yesterday is withdrawn with immediate effect and all internal disciplinary procedures current at 13 October 2011 have been restored. The Board have reiterated their continued commitment to a culture in which employees at all levels can expect to be treated with dignity and respect and feel free from threats and intimidation regardless of their ethnicity and religious persuasion or lack thereof.

Threats of physical or mental abuse will not be tolerated under any circumstances. All employees will conduct themselves in a civilised and respectful manner whilst at work.

There are no plans to bake bread on the premises nor to confiscate the land of employees.

The Board also expressed their thanks to the CEO and extend their best wishes for a speedy recovery.





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