Sunday, 16 December 2012

Rosa's Laws Of Religion.


Rosa's Laws of Theodynamics.

The Zeroth Law of Theodynamics

If two religions are both in equilibrium with a third religion, they will all claim to support freedom of speech and conscience.

First Law of Theodynamics

Gods can be created out of nothing and will disappear without trace.

Second Law of Theodynamics

In an open system, religions tend to disorder and form an ever-increasing number of sects.

Third Law of Theodynamics

Gods disappear completely when the number of believers in them reach zero.

Rosa's Laws of Theological Relativity.

First Law of General Theological Relativity

Believers invariably have the same gods as their relatives.

Second Law of General Theological Relativity

False gods are the ones your relatives don't believe in.

Third Law of General Theological Relativity

You might have nothing against people who believe in false gods but you wouldn't want your daughter to marry one.

First Law of Special Theological Relativity

The power of gods to explain expands so as to fill the ignorance available to them.

Second Law of Special Theological Relativity

The power of gods is directly proportional to the mass of their believers.

Third Law of Special Theological Relativity

Tolerance for other religions is inversely proportional to the power of a god's supporters. As their power becomes absolute their tolerance reaches zero.

Combined Law of Special Theological Relativity

Intolerance is inversely proportional to the amount of knowledge in a social system.

Rosa's Laws of Religious Inheritance.

First Law of Religious Inheritance.

Every religious individual receives just one religion from their parents.

Second Law of Religious Inheritance.

All traits of the one religion are inherited together. No mixing occurs.

Rosa's Laws of Religious Interaction.

Law of Constant Religious Conflict.

When two religions come into contact, the violence of the reaction is directly proportional to the strength of belief. May often become explosive with or without a catalyst.

Law of Magnified Difference.

When two or more religions come into contact, small differences assume major significance.

Rosa's Law of Religious Elasticity.

First Law of Religious Eleasticity.

All religions believe in freedom of conscience until they acquire the power to abolish it.

Second Law Of Religious Elasticity.

Morality can stretch as far as needed to facilitate clerical privilege and church income.

Rosa's Laws of Internet Religion.

First Law Of Debate.

The validity of a religious argument is inversely proportional to the number of exclamation marks following it.

Second Law of Debate.

Gods forgive any lie provided you put the magic word 'FACT!' after it.

Third Law Of Debate.

Gods don't mind how you behave towards people you can't see because morality only applies when people can physically hit back.

Fourth Law Of Debate.

All debates can be won with passive-aggressive threats, bigoted condescension and/or indignant flounces.

Fifth Law of Debate.

First one to mention Hitler, Nazis, Stalin, Mao, Communism or Pol Pot wins. No one mention Martin Luther, slavery or witch burning! Okay!





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3 comments :

  1. You're sharp-sighted like an eagle, Rosa. And very intelligent. Maybe that's why you're an atheist? You're able to see through all the religious bullshit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "May often become explosive with or without a catalyst" ... too funny! :)

    ReplyDelete

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