Friday, 15 March 2013

Top 10 Reasons to Take Pascal's Wager

Blaise Pascal (1623-1672)
Pascal's Wager (or Gambit) basically argues that, since you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from believing in God (Pascal never specified which one), your safest bet is to believe.

Here are the top ten reasons you should play Pascal's Gambit:

  1. Gods are not really all-knowing and don't know what you are thinking, so they won't realise you are just pretending.
  2. Someone told you Pascal's Gambit is a good idea and you just can't be bothered to think through the consequences of it.
  3. The Gambit works on any god, so you don't need to bother which is the real one or even if any of them are. Just talk about 'God' and it'll think you're talking about it.
  4. The Gambit works best on gods which admire dishonesty so chose one which has shown itself to be dishonest and proud of it.
  5. The less intelligent the god the better the Gambit works, so it's best to chose a really thick god although playing the Gambit in the first place shows you think none of them are too bright.
  6. The Gambit assumes you can put one over on the god in question, so chose a god who doesn't mind you thinking you are smarter than it is, or one which is too stupid to realise that you think you are.
  7. Gods are too stupid to realise you don't really believe but are trying to curry favour just in case they are real.
  8. Playing Pascal's Gambit shows you don't really believe in a god but are just pretending, so you don't need to behave as though you really believe because the god will be fooled anyway. Saying you believe is enough.
  9. If you can also trick a child or a gullible adult into falling for Pascal's Gambit, you can curry even more favour just in case the god turns out to be real. It won't worry about you being selfish and prepared to exploit children and vulnerable people for personal gain.
  10. Gods don't put any store by intellectual honesty or moral integrity, or admire people for using deductive reasoning and logic, so the abdication of reason and the moral bankruptcy in Pascal's Gambit won't worry them at all. In fact, they might admire your sacrifice for selfish gain - a kind of self-martyrdom.

So, what are you waiting for? Pretend to believe in a god today. Any god will do.

You know it makes no sense at all.





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