Saturday, 11 November 2017

Be Upstanding For Jesus

Paseka 'Mboro' Motsoeneng of the Incredible Happenings Ministry.
Photo credit: Sandile Ndlovu
Pastor demands footage of him reviving parishioner's erection be shown on TV | Metro News

A South African pastor is proclaiming a miraculous cure for impotence and demanding it be shown on Soweto television.

Pastor Paseka ‘Prophet Mboro’ Motsoeneng, of the Incredible Happenings Ministry in Katlehong, South Africa, will already be familiar to readers of this blog for his amazing powers (and amazing wealth). Only last July, on God's instructions, he went into Hell and killed Satan according to his announcement on his Facebook page (that was mysteriously taken down soon after it appeared - which had nothing to do with a very large number of complaints, obviously).

We can be sure this is true because Prophet Mboro is a Christian and it is forbidden for Christians to bear false witness, i.e., lie!

In April 2016, Prophet Mboro was invited into Heaven to spend the day with Jesus and take lots of selfies with him on his G5 Galaxy iphone. Strangely, although Jesus had specifically invited Prophet Mboro into Heaven to take the photos, he was powerless to prevent the unfortunate man's iphone being stolen from his car, along with all the pictures, right after Prophet Mboro had taken a great deal of money for copies of the pictures and before he could print any off!

Still, at least you could go to his church and bask in the presence of the man in who's presence Jesus wanted to be photographed, and that's worth a ton of anyone's money!

But it's his latest miracle that is currently exciting the faithful in Soweto and it was all captured on film, including the proof. But now Soweto TV won't allow it to be shown!

Mboro is organising a march to Soweto TV as the station is refusing to show the sex 'testimony'.
Phot credit: Getty Images
It all started when the wife of parishioner Joseph Chabangu, went to Prophet Mboro asking for help with her husband's erectile dysfunction. Although blessed with three children, they hadn't had sex for several month and the poor woman, Thabisile, was feeling starved. They feared that a bad spell had been cast on their bedroom or an evil spirit had taken up residence their.

So, with camera crew in tow, Prophet Mboro went to the good lady's home in Zonke, Ekurhuleni, where her told her to take her husband's lifeless member in her hand while her husband put his hand on her er... receptacle. Then they 'played' with one another while the good pastor prayed and, miracle of miracles, the husband's organ sprang into action.

So hungry were the couple that they immediately began to satiate their hunger in front of the camera crew, so that potential viewers would be left in no doubt that everything was now fully functional and the husband's once lifeless organ had been fully resurrected and restored to full and vigorous health.

Now Profit (sic) Mboro is campaigning to allow the miracle to be shown on his weekly TV show arguing that it is not in the least pornographic and the couple should be allowed the right to share their testimony. He is planning a mass protest march to the TV station demanding the the 'miracle' be shown.

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1 comment :

  1. "Un-effing-believable" never seemed such a pertinent comment before!

    ReplyDelete

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