Friday, 9 March 2012

What Warning Would You Put In A Gideon Bible?

For those few who don't know, a 'Gideon Bible' is a Bible supplied by the 'Gideons International' to hotels, hospitals, schools and other approved places. You will normally find one in the bedside cabinet in a hotel room. They are distributed by morbidly paranoid theophobic people in the hope that an omnibenevolent imaginary god won't torture them for eternity after they die.

Spreading primitive superstition and resistance to AIDS prevention measures in Africa
In the interest of balance and the welfare of potential victims, I feel that Atheists and Agnostics should insert a slip of paper containing a health warning about the contents of the Bible.

Genocide, Bible style.
This should of course contain a warning about the violence, killing, explicit sexual references, child abuse, objectivisation and dehumanisation of women, aggressively genocidal racism, explicit animal cruelty and incitement to commit murder and hate crimes amongst other activities unacceptable in a civilised society. It should also contain a warning about parental guidance, or at least the guidance of a sane adult being advisable for children and gullible people.

And that's just the first five 'books' in the Bible.

There are obviously very many other things innocent people need to be warned about, and therein lies the problem:

How would we fit this list onto, preferably, a single side of A5 (or maybe centre-folded single sheet of A4) in a succinct message.

So, here is YOUR chance to help spread the good news of Atheism, Humanism and rational thought and to help people understand the harm that primitive superstitions can do and how to avoid being fooled into believing in them and to escape from them if already infected.

Please suggest suitable, succinct, powerful, and above all, complete and truthful wording for such an insert. Copies of the best can be converted to a suitable form for concerned citizens to print off and distribute when travelling.
Freedom from religion. Free at last, free at last!

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  1. "Reading this material may seriously damage your mental health."

    Unoriginal and obvious, but puts the message across.

  2. Well, Rosa, great minds think alike once again, I've been fiddling with exactly this notion...
    Dogma Advisory Label

  3. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

    1. The irony is that "any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental" is fiction in its own right.

  4. I absolutely LOVE this idea! I think I'll get some stickers printed up for my next hotel stay

  5. I just put the fucking things in the bin. Like I would any terrorist manual.

  6. Actually reading this book may be hazardous to your Faith

  7. I think inserting a slip of paper into the book would be a waste of time; it'd just get lost or overlooked. It should be like a pack of cigarettes in Australia - warnings on the cover and graphic depictions of what the contents may include.

  8. I really like this idea, i don't travel that much but whenever i use eiter a public or private bible i should be putting a warning about the harm of that book.

  9. Oh I disagree with hiding/stealing/destroying bibles. In the front of the Gideons it has a listing "Where to find information if you are depressed/suicidal/etc". Imagine you just got kicked out of your house- maybe you're a pregnant teen, maybe you're escaping domestic abuse, whatever. You've never been *much* of a christain but you find yourself lost and miserable in some shitty hotel room, and you think "Oh, I'll read the bible for comfort!"... and then it's not there because some millitant athiest decided to make a statement by stealing it or throwing it away. Imagine what a kick in the guts that would be.
    Maybe one day there'll be a day when the bible won't mean so much to people, but for now I just think it's a crutch for people who may not have anywhere else to turn. People end up in hotel rooms for some really tragic reasons. Even if it just calms someone down for a night and gives them a couple of hours sleep, isn't that worth it?
    Maybe that's something you can slip in the bible instead. A little slip that says "Need help?" and lists phone numbers for suicide crisis, shelters, sexual assault crisis, other crisis or emergency numbers... I don't know...?
    Just my 2 cents.

  10. You can buy sheets of warning stickers from the Richard Dawkins site. And they're cheap!

  11. Cross out 'In the beginning' and write 'Once upon a time'


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