Saturday, 18 February 2012

How To Spot A Militant Secularist

With all the dire warnings now in the media on the dangers of militant secularists and the imminent threat they pose to the fabric of society, law and order and life on this planet as we know it, I thought I would produce a handy print-out-and-keep list to help people recognise these individuals and show why it's important to resist their perverted ways.

The first thing to remember is that most militant secularists try to look like perfectly ordinary people. They wear the same sorts of clothes and may not even look particularly scruffy. They may have a proper job, even a well-paid one. They may even live in your street and drive around in cars or use public transport just like normal people.

Are you sure your neighbours or even members of your family aren't militant secularists? What about aunts and uncles, even cousins or the mailman or school bus driver, even that friendly neighbourhood policeman? They do not have green or purple skin and very rarely have red eyes. In fact, in most respects they look just like you or me and are not easy to pick out in a crowd - unless you know the signs.

It is important to remember that, just like socialists, they may look like perfectly respectable, ordinary people!

However, there are a few tell-tale signs that, try as they may, militant secularists are not able to keep hidden for long. If you learn these they can become fairly easy to spot even across a crowded room.
  1. Militant secularists say things like "Um... well, I'm not sure I agree with you on that point", and other stuff intended to destroy your self-confidence. This is because they hate you.
  2. Militant secularists often say other people have a right to their opinions too, so showing they are anarchists and communists.
  3. Militant secularists say people should be free to believe what they want to believe. This is to undermine the foundations of society, cause moral decay and destroy your faith in God and his Church.
  4. Militant secularists even disagree with your religion as well as all the others. This is proof that they are Satanists and Marxists.
  5. Militant secularists may not even send their children to Sunday School or Bible classes. This is because they don't want their children to learn right from wrong.
  6. Militant secularists even admit publicly they believe in evolution. This is because they want you to think you are a monkey and don't have a soul so you will behave like an animal.
  7. Militant secularists say religion should be kept out of politics. This is because they want to tax churches, make euthanasia and homosexuality compulsory and outlaw marriage.
  8. Militant secularists may even say they believe in god. This proves they tell lies.
  9. Militant secularists may be seen reading science books and magazines, even in public. This is because they are elitists who want to take over the government and abolish democracy.
  10. Militant secularists are often opposed to wars. This is because they are traitors who hate the flag and want to take our freedom away.
  11. Militant secularists are often educated and sometimes even scientists. This shows they are probably mad and think they are better than ordinary people.
  12. Militant secularists don't use guns or even shout abuse at people they disagree with or even threaten them. This is to make you think they are moderate and not at all militant. Do not be fooled! Just because they aren't militant this doesn't prove they aren't, really!

Remember these twelve points so you can recognise these dangerous individuals at a glance and can be ever ready to stand up to their sneaky attempts to destroy civilisation as we know it.

God needs your help with this one. Don't let Satan win!

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  1. I'll keep on a look out for such scoundrels!

  2. Rosa...andy is one of them. Oh buddy, that is so funny. Please tell me you got that from somewhere and didn't make that up. O M (nonexistent) G. Awesome,


  3. Damn, you blew my cover.

  4. I know that you tried to make irony here and talked about all secularists and atheists as militant... but I think we should really make a distinction here. There are militant atheists in the world. And they are no better than religious bigots and church. Bigots are bigots no matter the other label they have. Thought control and censorship are bad no matter if they are based on religion or anything else.

    So, by erasing border between militant and 'regular' atheists and secularists you are doing no good to humanism and secularism.

    1. @dandelion
      Do you understand the difference between Secularism and Atheism?

      And can you explain how these "militant atheists" are as bad as the militantly religious?

      Do you see militant atheists flying aeroplanes in to skyscrapers in the name of no god?
      Do schisms between humanists, secular humanists and freethinkers result in riots and suicide bombings? Do we insist on readings from Russell or Dawkins before council meetings? Do you see militant atheists prowling the corridors of hospitals looking for dying religionists to convert?

    2. O do lighten up! So who are all these militant atheists nsd what do they do?

    3. I think a militant atheist must be someone who always doesn't believe in god, unlike moderate Christians say, who only believe in a god on Sundays but otherwise live their lives as though they don't believe in one.

    4. Yes, there really are militant secularists. I met one about 20 or so years ago. He happened to be an atheist who claimed to know for sure there was no god. He said he could prove it, and that you were a fool if you didn't agree with him. He got downright nasty about it sometimes. As you might imagine, he was not highly educated and had no idea how to discuss issues intelligently. Fortunately, there are not many like him. Great post, Rosa!

  5. Umm... I'm not sure I agree with you but you have a right to your opinion and can believe what you want. If you want to believe in YOUR god that's OK but I don't and won't force it on my kids either. I would prefer to teach them stuff like evolution at school and don't think religion should be taught there or be involved with politics.
    My god would encourage science. He or she would be appalled at the thought of wars as I have been since going to university. Reasoned, calm argument is always a better solution than the gun.

    Darn. I seem to be one of them!

  6. Retards....

    Retards EVERYWHERE!

  7. I've seen them and am in touch with them on FB & Twitter! Sneaky Buggers!

  8. Posted a link to this fine piece on the discussion board I co-founded, which is generating an interesting cartoon war.

    I'd be happy to propose mutual friendly links to this site.

    David B

    1. David B

      Thanks. I noticed there had been links from your site.

      >I'd be happy to propose mutual friendly links to this site.

      I'm not sure what that entails but sounds good to me, thanks

    2. From some of the comments it would seem that British satire doesn't always travel well. :-(

    3. If you look at the the top of a Secular Cafe page you will find 'Friends of the Secular Cafe' with 3 drop down menus for Forums, Blogs, and other.

      New ones are added if they satisfy two criteria:-

      We (a consensus of the admins) like the blog or whatever.

      They will add a link to us.

      If you could find a way to make a list of friends on your home page, and if you like us enough to want to link to us, we'd be glad to be your first friend.

      No doubt more would come with time, as they have with us. You could seek some out, like 'The Freethinker', and others might suggest linking to you.

      An over view of what Secular Cafe aims at being can be found in

      Mutual links can be a good way of leading people to surf on in.


    4. I have a (growing) page of blogs and sites (tab below the header stuff). I've added the Secular Cafe.

  9. Many believe That atheists are baby eating devil worshipers. Some of us aren't(a quotation from the wonderful website' the atheist experience ')

  10. I love this place!!
    Not all Americans are loud-mouthed bullying religio-fascists, although it sure does seem that way.
    Your Field Guide to Militant Secularists has been shared on my FaceBook Page. Perhaps international hilarity will ensue?

    Sarah Sparklers

  11. When did militant atheists affect adversely, or unsolicited, the lives of others in the way that religion has done since its inception all those years ago. As an atheist my life has been affected in various ways by arrogant militant men of the cloth being adamant that there is a God, and we should all accept that as the situation. I was forced to listen to religious teachings at school as a child( indoctrination) ; have a bible thrust in front of me in court; leave council meetings for prayers as I was not accommodated for as a non believer as the religious where,(or those who just went along with the wishes of the religious);have no alternative to the media (particularly the BBC) allowing the religious to thrust their faith into my home;but most importantly being involved in the educational system which can only ever have been to give religion a position of further influence beyond their church jurisdiction. Yes, I'm a militant atheist but not nearly as militant as the religious.

  12. Militant secularists might not even HAVE children, thereby disobeying the LORD GOD's orders to go forth and multiply. Hang 'em!

  13. guilty as charged on all 12 counts at least once in my lifetime far wow!! didnt think we are so bad for the human race!! lol crack me up !! hahahahahaha but im good w/out god


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