F Rosa Rubicondior: Holy Smoke and Mirrors! Heavenly Selfies With Jesus!

Wednesday 13 April 2016

Holy Smoke and Mirrors! Heavenly Selfies With Jesus!

Meet Paseka Motsoeneng, aka, Mboro.

Pastor Motsoeneng, of the Incredible Happenings Church in Katlehong, South Africa, is personal friends with Jesus who was so impressed by Motsoeneng's devotion that he invited him up to Heaven last Easter Sunday and invited him to take lots of selfies on his G5 Galaxy iphone. No! Honestly!

There is no doubt about this because we have the word of a Christian pastor, Paseka Motsoeneng aka Mboro, that it happened and he has the photographs to prove it. He even offered to sell copies of these selfies for a mere £238-266 each, although why he never offered them to a news agency for many millions is something of a mystery. Maybe he wasn't seeking to profit from his great good fortunes and God's unique generosity, and sought merely to cover his considerable expenses.

There, however, his luck and divine protection seem to have run out. His car was involved in an accident and someone stole his iphone! Would you believe it!?

It looks like poor Pastor Mboro will just have to manage with his current four luxury homes and meagre income from faith healing.

For some reason too, unkind people don't always believe Pastor Mboro's claims. For example, Thoko Mkhwanazi-Xaluva, chairperson of the Commission for the Promotion and Protection of Cultural, Religious and Linguistic Communities. She has announced that the Commission is reinstating criminal charges against him. The Commission is also investigating his failure to submit the Incredible Happenings Church's annual financial and bank statements showing where he gets his money from and what he spends it on.

Thoko Mkhwanazi-Xaluva has other unkind things to say on the subject of Pastor Mboro:

We are monitoring the so-called heaven selfies as this is nothing but extortion and commercialisation of religion. We are going to issue him with a subpoena for the selfies... You cannot reduce Jesus Christ to an ordinary person. Jesus’ name can’t be used in vain. Christianity needs to be respected and we cannot allow him to turn Christianity into a circus. It’s not a playground. I don’t know whether this was an April Fool’s joke or what. But he must go and make such jokes somewhere else.

Thoko Mkhwanazi-Xaluva
Chairperson, Commission for the Promotion and Protection of Cultural, Religious and Linguistic Communities.

Pastor Mboro is no stranger to being investigated by authorities. In 2013 he was accused of sexually harassing women and young girls and of paying a woman to fake an illness so he could cure her. He has also been accused of touching the genitalia of women he is 'healing'. This is untrue, he explained, because he wouldn't touch a woman's 'foul-smelling' vagina unless they asked him to because they wanted it to be healed.

Of course, none of these accusations can be true because there is no way Jesus would invite such a person up to Heaven to take selfies - an event reliably witnessed by church members from as far afield as Tshwane and Limpopo, according to the reliable word of Christian pastor, Paseka Motsoeneng, aka Pastor Mboro of the Incredible Happenings Church. No true Christian would lie about such a thing because lying is a sin!

Some people might conclude that Christians are especially vulnerable targets for scams, as they have already demonstrated an incredible degree of gullibility. Of course, this is unfair. It's not gullibility; it's faith. It's how religious people know what is true and what isn't!

The Freethinker.

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