How many chances does the Judeo-Christian god need for goodness sake?
First it goes to all the trouble to create a vast universe out of nothing just so it can have a tiny speck of dust on which to create humans, complete with all the plants, animals, air, water, etc., they need.
Eventually, in a fit of pique, frustrated that its creation isn't working properly and still blaming the design, not the designer, it decides to scrap that design, together with all the animals and plants. But, instead of starting over as any intelligent designer whose prototype doesn’t work would, it just keeps a few of the faulty ones in the hope they'll improve on their own accord and drowns the rest.
No! Honestly!
Apparently, making them just disappear was too difficult, only a mass drowning would work. It's master plan now is to keep creating faulty ones and chucking them in a fire until they learn the error of their ways and correct their own design faults. That'll teach them for not being designed properly!
No! Honestly!
Apparently, making them just disappear was too difficult, only a mass drowning would work. It's master plan now is to keep creating faulty ones and chucking them in a fire until they learn the error of their ways and correct their own design faults. That'll teach them for not being designed properly!
Then it decides this ‘new improved’ design (i.e., the same old design) needs some rules because their faults are showing again, so it writes some on some stones. For some god-knows-what reason, it chooses the top of a mountain to do this and leaves a human to carry the stones down. Classy!
Needless to say, those rules weren't enough and had to be added to soon afterwards, as its creation needed every aspect of their lives micro-managed in great detail, even to the clothes they wore, the food they ate, when they worked, when they rested, how they reproduced and with whom.
All to no avail, apparently! Things just got worse.
Needless to say, those rules weren't enough and had to be added to soon afterwards, as its creation needed every aspect of their lives micro-managed in great detail, even to the clothes they wore, the food they ate, when they worked, when they rested, how they reproduced and with whom.
All to no avail, apparently! Things just got worse.
As a last resort, it decides to pretend to be human and come to earth to change all the laws once again, the old ones being no good, apparently.
And, to cap it all, so badly is its ‘new improved’ design doing, it decides, for some bizarre reason, that it has to have itself ‘killed’ for a few days to save it in some curiously superstition belief that a blood sacrifice makes everything right again.
How on earth that was going to work is still a mystery. Even its most fanatical supporters are forever complaining that its creation is STILL not perfect and STILL has the original design fault. Would you buy a car made by this designer?
And, to cap it all, so badly is its ‘new improved’ design doing, it decides, for some bizarre reason, that it has to have itself ‘killed’ for a few days to save it in some curiously superstition belief that a blood sacrifice makes everything right again.
How on earth that was going to work is still a mystery. Even its most fanatical supporters are forever complaining that its creation is STILL not perfect and STILL has the original design fault. Would you buy a car made by this designer?
And there we have it: two failed creations; two tries at producing rules for micro-managing them because the creations weren’t behaving, and a spectacularly useless empty gesture based bizarrely on some primitive tradition of scapegoats and human sacrifice.
And its creation is still faulty, according to its followers. And it's all the design's fault, apparently!
What a résumé. Would YOU employ it as a designer?
What on earth made the followers of this god think it was perfect and capable of intelligent design?
You just wouldn't believe the things some people believe.
And its creation is still faulty, according to its followers. And it's all the design's fault, apparently!
What a résumé. Would YOU employ it as a designer?
What on earth made the followers of this god think it was perfect and capable of intelligent design?
You just wouldn't believe the things some people believe.
Unintelligent design – the reason gods so perfectly fit the gaps in the understanding of their followers.
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God should've been fired a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteAnd as Victor Stenger says, this one perfect place for human life is actually pretty hostile. There are so many things that can kill god's special creation for so many trivial reasons (and that is even with capricious malevolent godly bullies around the place).
ReplyDeleteWOW ! Soo true and humorous at the same time. Guess the designer drinks a lot.
ReplyDeleteThis post is a complete exaggeration and distortion of Biblical stories. The Bible's canon was ordered to tell the story of Salvation. It starts with the Garden, people and promise of the woman and her offspring who will crush evil's head. Then it ends with people, the woman and child mentioned in Genesis, and a Garden in Heaven. May I suggest that you take a Biblical course in any University. Even Bible as Literature to get further insight.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous (Whomsoever you may be)
ReplyDeleteSo, in order to understand the Bible you need to be taught only YOUR preferred version which has been made up to get around the absurdities in the words written in it, eh?
Any thoughts on why an omniscient god made such a hash of its perfect message that it needs 'special' people to make up a different message for it?
Glad you pointed this out. It is well known that God made a mistake with the first two religions and therefore created a Third Perfect religion to replace the original designs.
ReplyDeleteAs you would expect from a designer of such quality & past perfection he took the worst bits of the first two and modified them to create a new model.
The instruction book of this new religion was to be written by a 50 year old man who could not read or write but instead relied on his 6 year old Wife to help. God got the Angel Gabrielle to pass on instructions during dreams/epileptic fits and when the Prophet awoke he told his child bride the details.
To help he provided totally inconsistent contradictory Rules within the book thus invented a work around called Abrogation "anything i say contradicting anything I said before must be considered the new truth."
To prove this new religion was peaceful the followers allow free choice about joining. You can convert or die. A simple choice and popular proving the peaceful nature.
God also provided a flying talking horse so the messenger of God could fly Hundreds if miles to Israel to ascend to heaven, claim all the holy sites as his, start 1400 years of war & be back in bed in his tent before first light to cuddle his child bride.
Such is the wisdom of God this new religion says Peace on the Label but once consumed only brings death, oppression of women & tyranny.
So brilliantly written, adding wit and common sense.
ReplyDeleteThis is really hilarious.
ReplyDeleteIf it's all part of God's divine plan, maybe it was planned obsolescence?
ReplyDelete"And its creation is still faulty, according to its followers. And it's all the design's fault, apparently!"
ReplyDelete-- Just like Microsoft Windows, then? Good-oh ...
"As a last resort, it decides to pretend to be human.."
ReplyDeleteI Love It
You should cite sources for these claims. All I read here is a presentation of misconceptions.
ReplyDeleteWhere is the "reason?" sacerdotvs.blogspot.com
I'm sorry. I had assumed that people would realise they are all from the Christian Bible. Mea culpa.
DeleteHave you never read it? It's hilarious!