Tuesday, 16 November 2021

If Ever You're Feeling Really Stupid - 20 Absurdities That Some Adults Believe

  1. That Earth is flat and has a dome over it to keep the water above the sky out. The moon and sun are lamps hung on this dome so we can tell day from night and the stars stuck to it can shake loose and fall to earth during earthquakes.
  2. That a magic man designed himself before he existed then self-assemble out of nothing with enough information to create a Universe out of nothing and micromanage it to the minutest level.
  3. That a hundred-year-old man built a wooden boat and rounded up two or seven of every species in the world to live together for a year sealed in that boat with only one small window for air, then they left the boat onto a sterile planet on which all living things had been destroyed, including the plants, but still found enough to eat so everything alive today is descended from those few survivors.
  4. That just five generations after the survivors left the boat in 2, there were enough people to support a massive civil engineering project to build a tower up to Heaven, which in those days was just above the sky over the Middle East, and that all the languages on Earth are the result of this population each being magically made to speak languages that non-one else could understand, because the project alarmed an omniscient, omnipotent god who lived in the Heaven.
  1. That a man whose wife and daughter had been killed in a laddish game of 'Taunt the Human' between a good god and an evil god, would be adequately compensated by giving him a replacement wife and daughter.
  2. That a man who offered his two daughters to a mob to use as they wished and who later got drunk and had sex with them, making them both pregnant, could be described as 'righteous'.
  3. That there is a sense in which slavery is moral as is beating a slave and having sex with female slaves, with or without their consent.
  4. That the monetary value of a boy is twice that of a girl, and that raping a girl is a property offence for which her father should be compensated while she is forced to marry the rapist and be his sex slave for life.
  5. That about 3 million people can wander around in a desert for 40 years, finding enough food and water to live on, but not leave so much as a camp fire, a dead body, a cooking pot or a worn-out pair of shoes as evidence of their passing.
  6. That prophesies, which require a fixed and unchangeable future in a deterministic Universe, can be made in a Universe in which people have the free will to change the future as they wish, so making the Universe non-deterministic.
  7. That a pharaoh whose cattle, including all his horses, had all been killed in a plague, could nevertheless muster up enough horses to pull 600 chariots.
  8. There is a high point somewhere where the entire surface of Earth can be seen.
  9. That a woman can give birth to a male child without first having sex with a man.
  10. That killing an innocent person will mean everyone else is forgiven for the wrongs they have done and even the wrongs their remote ancestors did.
  11. That a disembodied 'spirit', deprived of all sensory organs, a nervous and locomotory system, can nevertheless enjoy and experience some form of life.
  12. That a man convicted of blasphemy by a Jewish sect in Jerusalem in the Roman province of Judea, would be executed by Roman soldiers in the Roman style even though there was no such crime in Roman law and the penalty for blasphemy under Jewish law was death by stoning.
  13. That a lot of dead people rose from their graves and wandered about the town, yet no contemporaneous writer recorded the event, nor is it recorded what happened to them or what clothes they were wearing, if any.
  14. That a letter from the Jewish sect in Jerusalem in Judea would empower the bearer to arrest citizens in the Roman city of Damascus in the province of Phoenicia, and carry them in captivity for execution in Jerusalem, for blasphemy - a crime which didn't exist in the polytheistic Roman state.
  15. That prayer can persuade a perfect, omniscient god to change its perfect plan to their better one.
  16. If the author of a story claims it is true and writes the claim in the book, this proves it is true.

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