How To Spot A Militant Secularist

With all the dire warnings now in the media on the dangers of militant secularists and the imminent threat they pose to the fabric of society, law and order and life on this planet as we know it, I thought I would produce a handy print-out-and-keep list to help people recognise these individuals and show why it's important to resist their perverted ways.

The first thing to remember is that most militant secularists try to look like perfectly ordinary people. They wear the same sorts of clothes and may not even look particularly scruffy. They may have a proper job, even a well-paid one. They may even live in your street and drive around in cars or use public transport just like normal people.

Are you sure your neighbours or even members of your family aren't militant secularists? What about aunts and uncles, even cousins or the mailman or school bus driver, even that friendly neighbourhood policeman? They do not have green or purple skin and very rarely have red eyes. In fact, in most respects they look just like you or me and are not easy to pick out in a crowd - unless you know the signs.

It is important to remember that, just like socialists, they may look like perfectly respectable, ordinary people!

However, there are a few tell-tale signs that, try as they may, militant secularists are not able to keep hidden for long. If you learn these they can become fairly easy to spot even across a crowded room.

1. Militant secularists say things like "Um... well, I'm not sure I agree with you on that point", and other stuff intended to destroy your self-confidence. This is because they hate you.
2. Militant secularists often say other people have a right to their opinions too, so showing they are anarchists and communists.
3. Militant secularists say people should be free to believe what they want to believe. This is to undermine the foundations of society, cause moral decay and destroy your faith in God and his Church.
4. Militant secularists even disagree with your religion as well as all the others. This is proof that they are Satanists and Marxists.
5. Militant secularists may not even send their children to Sunday School or Bible classes. This is because they don't want their children to learn right from wrong.
6. Militant secularists even admit publicly they believe in evolution. This is because they want you to think you are a monkey and don't have a soul so you will behave like an animal.
7. Militant secularists say religion should be kept out of politics. This is because they want to tax churches, make euthanasia and homosexuality compulsory and outlaw marriage.
8. Militant secularists may even say they believe in god. This proves they tell lies.
9. Militant secularists may be seen reading science books and magazines, even in public. This is because they are elitists who want to take over the government and abolish democracy.
10. Militant secularists are often opposed to wars. This is because they are traitors who hate the flag and want to take our freedom away.
11. Militant secularists are often educated and sometimes even scientists. This shows they are probably mad and think they are better than ordinary people.
12. Militant secularists don't use guns or even shout abuse at people they disagree with or threaten them. This is to make you think they are moderate and not at all militant. Do not be fooled! Just because they aren't militant, doesn't prove they aren't millitanty!

Remember these twelve points so you can recognise these dangerous individuals at a glance and can be ever ready to stand up to their sneaky attempts to destroy civilisation as we know it. If you find one, be sure to defend freedom by pointing them out to your neighbours to get them driven out of town.

God needs your help with this one. Don't let Satan win!

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