Thursday 19 September 2013

How The Common Cold Was Intelligently Designed

Intelligently designed coronaviruses
As I'm just getting over a nasty little cold I thought I would write a blog about the common cold for creationists, so they can appreciate the wonder of science too. (Hope the 's' word hasn't put them off already, because creationism is all about science really... isn't it?).

So what is a common cold?

The common cold (also known as nasopharyngitis, rhinopharyngitis, acute coryza, or a cold) is a viral infectious disease of the upper respiratory tract which primarily affects the nose. Symptoms include coughing, sore throat, runny nose, sneezing, and fever which usually resolve in seven to ten days, with some symptoms lasting up to three weeks. Well over 200 viruses are implicated in the cause of the common cold; the rhinoviruses are the most common.

All creationists understand that God er... sorry... The Intelligent Designer never makes any mistakes and knows exactly what His Its creations will do and designs them perfectly to do exactly what they do, nothing more and nothing less.

Why the Intelligent Designer wants us to feel miserable for a few days with a headache and high temperature, and to be susceptible to secondary infections causing things like pneumonia and sinus infections is not a matter for us to concern ourselves with. It knows best and is doing it for an ineffable reason. It also wants to cost industry billions in lost production every year for reasons us mere humans can't expect to understand. We just need to be grateful that it's all to the good in the long run.

We conclude that the economic cost of lost productivity due to the common cold approaches $25 billion, of which $16.6 billion is attributed to on-the-job productivity loss, $8 billion is attributed to absenteeism, and $230 million is attributed to caregiver absenteeism.

Bramley TJ, Lerner D, Sames M. J;
Productivity losses related to the common cold.
Occup Environ Med. 2002 Sep;44(9):822-9.
So how did the Intelligent Designer go about this?

He used a virus - basically some RNA wrapped up in proteins which gets into the cells in the lining of our noses and other parts of our respiratory system and converts our cells into machines for making more viruses. Our bodies react to this in ways which cause the typical symptoms of the common cold - high temperature, runny nose, coughs and sneezes (which help spread the virus to other people) headache, tiredness, etc.

But the Intelligent designer forgot that he had also designed humans to react to things like viruses by making antibodies which kill the viruses, so he had to think of a way to get round this intelligently designed problem.

So he came up with the brilliant idea of making over 200 different viruses which cause the common cold, all of which change a little bit over time so our bodies don't recognise them as the same one we got infected by some years ago. [Important note: this change over time should not be called 'evolution' because that's impossible. The Intelligent Designer does it!] With that many different viruses the Intelligent Designer made it so the average human in developed countries gets 2-4 colds a year on average and children can get 6-12 colds a year. At that rate it takes a whole lifetime to get through them all and by then they've all changed anyway. For some reason, the Intelligent designer decided it wouldn't make any difference whether people believe in him or not, everyone would have the same chance of catching a cold several times a year.

No! We don't need to know why He designed our bodies to fight the viruses he created. He must have had an intelligent reason because He's an intelligent designer! You see how easy Creation Science is? It always provides you with exactly the answer you wanted - which proves it's right.

So that's it, really. Everything a creationist needs to know about how the Intelligent Designer designed the common cold - which is obviously a much more sensible explanation than anything science can offer, and what we don't know we know really because God did it! No! Wait... The Intelligent Designer did it, because this has nothing to do with religion or the Bible and is all about science! Okay! It's not more sensible than science because it is science and anyway it's better science because it's written in a book, and should be taught in schools! Got that!

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  1. Hi Rosa,
    I hope you are better now from your cold...
    Just discovered this blog site today and I did read some of your articals. I must say they were interesting

    I am a rationalist (when it comes to most things), but I do believe in God and creation.... But i was not always like that. I used to be a staunch Darwanian once (until I came to Christ)

    I fully agree that most things pointed out in your blogs do conflict with the idea of Creation. (I won't even attempt to explain them... cause i know i'll be disected like a frog... cause most arguments are indeed better explained with science than religion!).... But do consider my perspective of things...

    Look around, how beautiful the world is... and how well it works... there is rain when required (well most of the time ;) ).. there is enough sunlight for work and night for rest...and how the world works so well... there is so much unexplained!

    For example consider any fruit... say an apple... the tree absorbes water, soil, air and sunshine ... and filles a fruit (in fact many fruits) with the exact nutrient and flavours.... isn't it as good as 'magic'? Now this is just one of the infinitsimal 'magics' which can never ever be atained in a lab or anywhere by man....of course if an apples DNA is avaliable it could be possible in the near future... but that wouldn't count since we are using the DNA from an already existing apple... but just try to imagin will it ever be possible to do the same feat right from scratch? When i say scratch I meen can it be done by someone who has never seen or tasted an apple? Well, I know a few would say some day it will be possible .... But for me it's close to impossible .... Now my argument (and the reason for my belief in god is this). If it's impossible for Man (an inteligent being) to do it how could Nature (being uninteligent... if there is such a word) do it.... many would like to believe that Nature with time on it's hand can do it... But I like believing in God

    Your Blogs are indeed thought provoking...

    1. So you lied about once being a 'Darwinist' then, otherwise you would know how infantile those questions are.

      Nice try though. What convinced you you couldn't use truth and honesty and were going to need deception to win converts?

      Any more dishonest spam will be removed. This is intended to be a site for grown up, honest debate.

    2. While I agree this seems like a troll message, I also believe the commentator is missing an important part of evolution. They mention that fruit has "with the exact nutrient and flavours" for us animals, but they fail to recognise that animals and fruit developed to utilize the same chemistry/biochemistry. So the fact that fruits contain this nutrition should not be a surprise.

      BTW Rosa I am going to reblog this tomorrow on my blog as its a wonderful piece. I hope you dont mind as I will follow the rules at the top :)

    3. Christian.

      You're more than welcome to reblog this with a link. I'd be flattered if you did.

      Anup clearly knows nothing of either Darwinism or nature in general. No fruit has all the exact nutrients for us and some are poison, even deadly. The one fruit he seems to be able to remember the name of - apple - has been selectively bred by man from the common crab apple, most of which are almost inedible by anyone but the most hungry of people, and comes nowhere near to supplying all our nutritional requirements.

  2. Rosa the 'Intelligent Designer' is far more subtle than you assume. Although we lose billions due to the common cold industry has been making even more from the sale of cold 'remedies'. With so much profit at stake the intelligent designer knows that no serious effort will ever be made to produce a real cure/preventative medicine. He/She/It is thereby assured that the viruses involved will survive. What the creationists get wrong is they assume they are more important than a virus.


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