When is a False Prophet not a False Prophet?

Hank Kunneman, false prophet of One Voice Ministries, Nebraska

Hank Kunneman Says God Hates Those Who Call Him a False Prophet for Falsely Prophesying Trump's Reelection | Right Wing Watch

Readers will be familiar with preacher of hate and false prophet, Hank Kunneman and his difficulty with coming to terms with the fact that not only did his idol and personal saviour, Donald J Trump, lose the presidency, but that he falsely prophesied he would win.

Pastor Hank, of One Voice Ministries, Nebraska, has now discovered that both he and his god also hate another group of people in addition to those who never voted for Trump. They both hate people who point out that Hank Kunneman is a false prophet!

In his Sunday Sermon he explained to his dupes er... followers that there are six things that God hates. Kunneman has trawled through his Bible and found just the excuse he needs to try to make others feel guilty for pointing out that he falsely prophesied a Trump win. He found just what he thought he needed in Proverbs 6:16-19. All it needed was a bit of twisting and suddenly God was saying just what Kunneman needed him to say:

These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

That last one must have really stung Kunneman because he has had to put this spin on it:

But notice something. God hates what? He didn’t say he hates discord. He hates you that are being a troll. He hates you that are attacking your Christian brothers and sisters. ‘Yeah, but they’re false. They’re wrong.’ Excuse me. How do you know? ‘Because it hasn’t come to pass.’ How do you know that it hasn’t come to pass? First of all, the president was reelected. Let’s get that clear. Second of all, he was given a second term based on reelection. ‘Well, he’s not serving it now?’ Because it was stolen by thieves.

Er... no Hank! It says God hates 'a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord'!

Ironic, or what! Talk about self pwned!

A false prophet isn't a false prophet if he bears false witness and claims his prophesy really did happen even though all the evidence and the reality of the situation shows it didn't. IOW, a fundamentalist evangelical false witness is not a false witness so long as he feels entitled to bear false witness later.

To add to the fun, here are 25 more evangelical Christian false witnesses all trying to explain why they aren't really, brought to you courtesy of Hemant Mehta.

Well, what's the point of being personal friends with God if you can't go in for a bit of self-licenced exemption from the commandments you demand everyone else adhere to, when you need to, especially when your dupes followers might have noticed how, when put to the test, you have no more idea what a god thinks than they do and have no qualms about fraudulently posing as something you're not, so they give you lots of money?

You know, with all these frauds coming up with all these reasons to ditch religions, I'm going to have to write a sequel to my book, Ten Reasons to Lose Faith: And Why You Are Better Off Without It. Maybe entitled Ten More Reasons...

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