Tuesday, 7 July 2020

Trumpanzee Christian Fruitloop Saves the Day

Kat Kerr, Christian "Prophetess"
Christian “Prophetess”: I’m the Reason Satan Didn’t Disrupt Your Holiday Weekend | Hemant Mehta | Friendly Atheist | Patheos

With news of science papers that debunk creationism again, of child-abusing Catholic priests and of Christian covidiots spreading Covid-19, being thin on the ground today, I thought I'd write about the deranged Trumpanzee "Prophetess", Kat Kerr, who featured in this blog a few days ago when she announced her measures for defending the GOP National Convention. She has ordered 100 million angels to station themselves around the town to keep the evil demons out.

Now, Kerr has retrospectively claimed the credit for everyone staying safe on the 4th July National holiday. Kat cast a magic spell that ensured everyone's safety.

It needed her sister Jen to repeat the spell line by line to make sure God got the instructions.

I choose, as an act of my will, to take power over all the power of the enemy — that would be Satan and his army. We will not tolerate disruptions, attacks, or anything to delay or interfere with the activities on the Fourth of July.

So we command the host of Heaven — that’s Heaven’s Army — to go pull down every stronghold and shred every platform the demons are operating from. These demons influence and empower people with weak minds, people who hate, people who want violence — they get help from Hell. So we stop that from happening, and then it can’t take place.
So we thank you, Father, for the authority through Jesus Christ that we can command the Army of Heaven to fight on our behalf. So go host, make toast… the enemy’s plans, on this Fourth of July, to bring destruction or any violence. It will not happen, but we will have a great time to celebrate with our God and our families that we are free in America.

The sad thing here is not just that Kat Kerr appears to believe this stuff is needed and really works but that her followers, including her unfortunate sister, Jen, do too.

She reminds me of the joke about the man in a railway carriage in Southern England who, when asked why he kept throwing paper tissues out of the window, replied that it was to keep the wild elephants away. The lack of wild elephants in Southern England proved it worked!

No different really to religious fundies gathering together to cast spells at God to try to control the future (and to spread Covid-19 by not wearing a face-mask to prove their 'faith').

Kerr is an ardent Trumpanzee who is on record as claiming that cows drive tractors in Heaven and there is a city there made entirely of of Jell-O.


Kerr also claims to have have met Jesus (he is six feet tall and very handsome, apparently - no doubt, a white, blue eyed blond, judging by Kerr's antipathy for the Black Live Matter campaign which she says is being run by Satanic demons!). Apparently, there is also a giant warehouse of human body parts in Heaven too.

I wonder if the Pilgrims who went off to found a land of religious fundamentalists had this sort of nut-job in mind when they boarded the Mayflower and set sail for the New World. Just imagine the nation they would have today if they had managed to found the enduring theocracy they dreamed of.






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